Calmer Coaching

Greater Clarity

Life has become a constant race to stand still. We live in a world of constant change. The 24/7 cycle is alive and well. We no longer live in a 9-5 work culture. The boundaries are blurred. The expectation has become that we should be online/ ontap to our work to the detriment of our health and wellbeing. We sacrifice the long term for the short term. We are suffering overwhelm. We need greater clarity.

So what matters most? What is the ultimate question?

The ultimate question is – what do you want?

All that we feel, think and do has a purpose. We are design with purpose. Our brains have a purpose. Our hearts have a purpose. Our gut is designed to send us messages relating to who we are, our motivation and what matters most to us. When was the last time you listened to your gut instinct? When you are hungry, you need to eat. When you are tired, you need to sleep. When you are stressed, you need to relax. There is a reason our body sends us messages and if we ignore them then we are storing ourselves up for bigger messages further down the track.

My philosophy underpinning calmer (centrally aligning life manifests exceptional results) coaching is to empowereach individual to fulfil their potential through insightful awareness to establish greater clarity with respect to what they want.

So what do you want? What are your dreams that you want to bring alive? What hopes do you have for your future? Where do you see yourself in five, ten, twenty years time? What do you hear people saying around you? What do you want to feel about your life into the future?

To achieve clarity, write down some outcomes you want to bring to fruition in your lifetime. Setting outcomes and writing them down enables you to become the master of your experience. You are the master of your ship. You are wholly accountable for what you feel, what you think, your behaviour and your results. The quicker you accept this truth, the more enjoyable you will find the experience of life, the happier you will become in learning what works and more accepting that mistakes are feedback not failure and the more committed you will become to achieve your desired outcomes.

Take a sheet of A4 and write down your desired outcomes. Make sure they come from your gut and as they rise up through you, that they inspire you and get your heart racing. The more you allow your outcomes to rise from your gut instinct, the more authentic they will be and the more reassured you can be that you are connecting with your inner wisdom.

In forming your desired outcomes, ensure they align with the following pointers:

  • each outcome is desired and pleasurable;
  • map out the path that you need to walk along and who is to join you at which points and why to achieve each outcome
  • detail the path as much as you can to create as strong a vision as you are able, noting what you see, hear and feel as you travel along your path
  • determine milestones along your path to achieving each outcome, how will you know you have reached each milestone and what will you do to acknowledge what you have achieved
  • what help along the path, what knowledge do you need to acquire, whose skills and experience might assist towards each milestone
  • explore how your life might evolve as you achieve each milestone, what changes may occur and you journey toward each outcome? How will the roles and responsibilities of you and those around you change as your life progresses?
  • How committed are you to achieving each of these outcomes? How energised does each make you feel? Does each give you a sense of purpose and passion, a motivation to put into action the plans you have drawn up?

People create their own “map of reality” and respond to this map rather than reality itself. The phrase “the map is not the territory” was cited by Alfred Korzybski in his book, Science and Sanity, published in 1933.

The key to success in achieving greater clarity is by changing our map for one that offers us more choice and offers knowledge that is more likely to empower us towards achieving our desired outcomes.

Limiting beliefs are stored within our unconscious mind, formed primarily during childhood as a  result of events that occurred either at home, at school or elsewhere where memories where formed that condition our behaviour. Each of these memories relate often to one event but the outcome of that event is stored and recalled, often without our conscious knowing, and used to influence how we feel, how we think and how we act. Through a better understanding of our limiting beliefs and how we can reconfigure them, we are then able to overcome such beliefs and enhance our chances of success in life.

The statement, “I can’t do that here” can offer different aspects of a limiting belief. For example:

  • “I can’t do that here” – relates to environment and could be challenged by asking yourself, “well where else could I do it?”
  • “I can’t do that here” – points to behaviour and could be explored further by responding “what exactly can’t you do?”
  • “I can’t do that here” – focusing on the action indicates an issue with capacity and raises the question “what prevents you?”
  • “I can’t do that here” – highlights a belief and could be challenged by asking “what would happen if you could?”
  • I can’t do that here” – indicates the person does not identify with what is being asked of them, they do not feel they could fulfil what is being sought at any time or anywhere. To which the response could be, “who could?”

Using the suggestions above can enable a much deeper exploration into what is being said, to what is being believed and through challenge, a different perspective can be determined which may result in alternative feelings, thoughts and ultimately actions.

Greater insight and knowledge of our feelings, thoughts and actions and how they impact on our success in achieving our desired outcomes will offer greater clarity in what we want to achieve, enabling a clearer perspective on life and empowering a greater sense of control of priorities in life. This ultimately frees up time to enjoy what matters most and that is ensuring we fulfil our potential through adopting a wiser perspective in every second of every day we are alive.

Ultimately, if what you have read above connects with you in some way, please get in touch to explore more about the calmercoaching philosophy and what benefits it could bring to your daily life.

Every great achiever begins with the first step forward. Let’s take you – above and beyond your wildest dreams!